Stand up Top Jokes - besides one that I unlike

‎- > ”Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx

- > ‎”My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.” – Rodney Dangerfield

- > “A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. The woman knows.” – Monica Piper

‎- > "Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.” – Bill Cosby

‎- > ”I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.” – Rodney Dangerfield

‎- > ”I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

‎- > ”Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” Steven Wright

- > ‎”Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.” – W. C. Fields

‎- > ”The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin

Unlike:
‎- > ”I don’t think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they’ve made their choice” – Stewart Francis